I have been thinking alot lately about the differences in generations of leatherfolk. There is much to do about the old guard[1] and an insistent interest in what was before what exists now. I think an interest in the past is healthy and intelligent. Careful study of history may allow us not to reinvent the wheel. Learning from those before us is an important part of our history that is without dispute how many people, past and present, have come to their current knowledgeable status.

At times, I hear people assert they wish to learn specific skill sets or more about "protocol." It's as simple as asking, how do you do it? How do you manage your relationship? Do I believe these aspects of relations were discussed by those before us? Certainly, however, I think teaching rarely happened in such a segmented manner. If you asked to learn, rarely would it take the form of just learning how to handle a whip or learning how to speak to a slave to exude power and surety. I believe teaching was more holistic in some groups.

This is part of the legacy of old guard. It's my belief that the old guard passed on standards and values to those they taught. I am not alone in this belief as Jack Rinella put forth in his Partners in Power book. Many of us have heard this story before-- the belief in honor, respect, integrity, etc. I won't debate if that was true or not. It's my belief that there were people of good standing and ethics. There were also people who exhibited no integrity whatsoever. Time hasn't changed leatherfolk in that aspect.

But what does a generation who teaches the next generation offer when they are teaching personal standards and values? I believe they offer a path that sets the tone for the generation that comes after the generation they are teaching. They set the tone for the next generation of students to be taught well in a similar manner. I believe this happens because when you teach a generation about who they are, what they may be, and give them ethical standards to live by, you will give them a path to happiness through self-knowledge and personal compassion that reaches outward.

In teaching others, you create an atmosphere of gratitude. Gratitude is a giant giving force. It is a strong motivator. This motivator will enforce the desire to continue on the path taught, it will also lead that generation to teach the next generation. Those who are grateful for what they are given will pass such gratitude onto the next generation.

This feeling of gratitude is a cornerstone of knowing you owe a debt. The concept of debt for learning from those before you was most certainly a value for some of the old guard. It is one that is well warranted.

If the next generation focuses on learning implementation only and not learning standards and values the emotional impact of SM may be diminished.

If that is diminished, our ability and desire to take the time to nurture and teach generations to come is hindered. Vi Johnson asserts that there is a new generation of leatherfolk every two and a half years as opposed to a new generation every ten years which is what we used to see in the 1970's and before. I happen to agree with her. I believe this is one area where it is possible that you may see a gap between generations.

Recently a young woman approached me. She communicated her desire to learn from me. She told me why she felt I would be a good teacher and immediately offered to provide me with her skill sets as a trade for her education. She had my attention instantly. It was not because I am a capitalist. She had my attention because it had been over a decade since I was approached in such a manner. Twenty years ago her approach would not have been a novelty. It would have been common.

I accepted her phone number and called her within days. She told me that she was surprised to receive my phone call. Previously, she had made the same offer to three other tops over the last two years. Not a single one of those tops who said they would call followed through. I found it alarming. If we are not good to our word, what could our worth possibly be?

Is this yet another effect of our endless classes regarding how to do instead of how to be? I hope not.

I see some of the brightest minds available among our ranks. In some of the smaller groups I am blessed to teach, I see such earnest desire and forthrightness that it keeps me humble. I stand in awe of such character and honesty. It is my hope to see those people flourish at the hands of good teachers. It is my hope that with their own standards and values, they have the opportunity to exercise humility, gratitude, and pass on their debt to those after them as those before them did.

By Catherine Gross

[1] I use this term with the understanding that those before us certainly never used the term Old guard. This term was given to older generations to more clearly discern generational differences.

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Article first appeared in Leather Journey Magazine in 2006.